Well a fine hello and how do you do, to my wonderful readers here at TLGAJ! It's been a while since I've put down some work for you, and If I wasn't so damn busy finding the heart of the American dream through dirt, and grit, and unending gusto, I might spend another paragraph apologizing to you as I've done oh so many times. This time however, I'm gonna just skip much of the hogwash, and get straight down to the bones. Thats right, I'm gonna give you a pictorial "How-To" on Slaughtering Chickens!
I've been stuck on a substantial post explaining my departure from Milwaukee through my arrival here in Trout Lake, and instead of just remaining stuck, I'm gonna give you guys something while you wait. On my current schedule, I am working four ten hour days, and then doing side jobs on my days off, so its been hard to get into a good writing flow. I hope you can all forgive me, readers. I'll change...
So to some folks, the idea of me putting up a pictorial HOW-TO on butchering chickens might come off as a cruel sort of novelty, or morose gimmick. I can see where your coming from if this is your estimation, but I assure you my plant eating friends, my intent is not so debased. My aim actually has very much to do with all the amazing new things I'm learning out in the Pacific Northwest with regards to sustainable practices in agriculture, nutritional habits, and general consumption. Within this larger picture, there are many ethical riddles that are imposed upon the environmentally inclined community that cause to question where a person obtains there meats, how those animals are raised, treated, and butchered; and finally, what economic effect your purchasing power is having on a larger scale.
To my colleagues in the mid-west, these questions are of optional consideration. It's not something I say to criticize my roots, but it's certainly a difference that effects peoples lifestyles more then I had possibly imagined, and not just in a dietary sense. Out here, a person might be unemployed purely because they spend most of their week managing their garden, and livestock, and then trading the fruits of their labor at farmers markets on weekends to obtain whatever they don't personally provide for themselves. With such sustainable systems in place, you really have to question whether your unemployed, or simply self-sustaining. Either way, I wholeheartedly think its a beautiful way of living.
So to explain things a bit more directly with regards to the intent in sharing my wonderful chicken butchering experience: it really boils down to a sense of awareness about what you're consuming. The easy stereotype to hold on to when trying to be more green friendly, is that everyone is a granola consuming nut-job who will take any possible opportunity to scold you about your eating habits, and suggest to you that it is cruel to eat animals. Though I've met many folks out here who subscribe to several different dietary restrictions for various reasons, there is a certain sensibility that reigns, and really presses awareness above all. There are just as many folks out here who love steak and bacon more then anything else (thank god!)- the only difference, is that they believe if you aren't comfortable with the idea of butchering that pig or cow, then you should probably consider your convictions to partaking in it blindly. I can appreciate that, so when a local staff member explained that her partner had just finished building a homemade bike powered chicken plucker, and offered me the opportunity to learn about the chicken butchering process- I couldn't say no!
As a side note, I'll mention that I was absolutely shaken with the idea of learning how chickens get to my plate first hand, because I've always been a bit squeamish. Luckily, my bearings were soothed by a few "Rainier's" (which is the Pacific NW's version of PBR, named after Mt. Rainier), and between that and my willingness to throw myself into new experiences, I made it out in decent enough condition to bike back home and have chicken stew for dinner!
* If you haven't already assumed that these pictures depict imagery that could be deemed shocking, consider this your warning- cause we 'bout to learn all about killin' some chickens. Yeee- haw!
After desperately chugging my beer with hopes to make the experience more bearable, I follow Debbie out to the chicken coop where she will determine the order of the slaughtering by assessing which ones have the most marketable trades...
...I'm Just kidding, take it easy PITA! There is no real strategy in picking the order of the chickens, you just reach in, grab one by the legs, and try your hardest not to get pecked. Apparently some of the chickens are more aggressive then others with their pecking, but can you blame them? I'd prefer to go out as a fighter personally.
I watch in awe, as Debbie reaches into the coop fearlessly to wrangle up a flapping chicken, and tie it by the legs in one casual fluid motion. Impressive!
Back to the chicken hanging line we go. The dog follows along obediently and with a purposeful strut to ensure things go smoothly, of course.
Debbi hangs the chicken on the line, puts a black sock over its head, and takes a moment to discuss the debated process of slaughtering chickens ethically- mostly because she is surrounded by a crew of wide-eyed newbies, but also because it is a process that folks prefer to be mindful of around here...
So the black sock, along with hanging the partially restrained chicken upside down for ten to fifteen minutes before slaughtering, are precautions taken to generally ease the chicken of feeling much pain in its last moments. The sock works in the same manner that draping a dark sheet over a bird cage does in order to put the bird to sleep- the only difference is that the black sock also has the added effect of making the chicken slaughterer look like a medieval executioner. If this is not your intent, you can always hot-glue some googley eyes on a white sock...
After finding the right soft spot on the neck, you get a good sharp knife, and cut all the way through the throat. When you watch it happen, the incision seems almost unnecessarily deep. The purpose in nearly cutting the chickens head off though, is to absolutely ensure that it will die so you don't have a suffering chicken on the line.
Here you can see a quick method for restraining the chicken, by cutting out the corner of a burlap sack, and simply tying it together with a bandanna. It makes the process simpler and easier when there is less flapping around from the chickens.
I get the feeling that Olivia is trying to make me look like the bad guy in this picture... I'm just trying to learn about my food Olivia, geeze!
So here it is folks. This is the reality of your chicken dinner, and if it looks that grotesque to you, then maybe you should think about having a salad tonight. More delicious chickens for me!
On to the next portion of the process: grab your handy axe, and get rid of the head. Flawless execution on the part of Dan- oh yes, I nearly forgot- Readers, this is Dan. Dan, Readers. I can be so rude sometimes...
In case your wondering, a dead chicken does not run around after you cut its head off...
Who's up for a bucket of chicken?! Some people prefer the thighs, but I'm personally a head guy...
After the highly technical head removing process, you dip the chicken into a nearby kettle of scalding water. You want the water to be very hot, but not boiling. This tightens the skin up a bit so the chicken doesn't bruise as badly in the plucker, and it also opens the pores up so the feather quills can be removed easily during the feather plucking process.
You can see the child like glow of excitement in my eyes as I wait to ride the chicken plucker. Its like Christmas morning all over again!
All the credit in the world needs to go to Dan for putting together this D.I.Y. masterpiece! After simply looking at various chicken pluckers online that cost shit loads, Dan was clever enough to design his own bike powered chicken plucker, and see the construction through to fruition... For some reason, theres nearly more Wisconsinites that live out here in Trout Lake, then there is in Wisconsin- I'm glad this clever fellow is one of them.
Apparently, the little rubber finger things inserted into this spinning drum are made specifically for chicken pluckers. Dan said he had to order them online, and since he had to buy them in quantity, he got stuck with a whole lot of extra's. Anyone need a few hundred rubber plucking fingers? Good. More for me.
Jen, one of our team leaders, watches the process with morbid curiosity. I hope this contraption didn't ruin biking for her altogether, but Jens such a tough cookie that I'm hard-pressed to even use the word cookie to describe the extent of her toughness...
Basically, someone gets on the bike and pedals to bring the bottom of the bin spinning up to speed, then you just drop the chicken in a few times while spraying it with a hose. Though its a simple concept, you can't drop the chicken too many times or you'll damage the carcass before cleaning it.
Voila! See those rubber chicken-plucking fingers at work. Its mesmerizing.
Dan was a pro at getting all the feathers off in just a drop or two, thereby leaving the precious meat unharmed. One great strategy he had, was holding the legs and lowering the chicken in to allow the rubber fingers to graze the outside without bashing the meat up. I told you that Dan was a clever one.
Olivia cleverly captured a shot of my favorite Laurelwood Brewery hat that I'd been given during my summer stint of cooking there while yard-surfing in Portland. It coincidentally depicts a rooster on it, and sadly, I never even made the connection (sigh)...
I inquire about the chicken innards I'm about to reach for, and Jen gladly shares what she knows with me. It should be noted that Jen is a vegetarian by choice, so her decision to come butcher chickens on her day off really speaks to her open mindedness, as well as her unique fascination with science at large. Also, she just felt like killing some animals that day... Just kidding Jen!
Here Dan inspects some more specific parts of the chicken innards to learn a bit more about the chickens eating habits.
When in doubt, put it in your mouth...
Look at this trophy! I got all the entrails out in one pull, and I don't seem to be to bashful about it all of the sudden...
It's quite strange to develop a relationship with the food you crave, but the chicken butchering experience didn't at all lessen my craving for chicken, but instead, made me appreciate it much more. It also definitely makes you consider the process, and though I'll still probably spring for a McChicken when I'm that broke and hungry- I'd hate to see the place where those Frank'N Chickens get made...
Some quick last notes: If I don't poop out this next writing post for you in a jiffy, I'll be trying to work some other formats into the blog here. Its time for me to switch things up a bit in an effort to stay fresh, so if I'm having a hard time getting some serious writing done, then I'll share some of the pictures, tales, and music I've been working on instead.
If you haven't already, please show me some support and click on the option to the right of the blog to subscribe as a follower. Its like one of those crummy cards you make your parents where the actual card really doesn't matter, but the fact that you did it means the world to them. Signing up is absolutely free, and of course, I'll love you long time... Much more to come here at TLGAJ!
Until we meet again...
Regards,
Joseph R. Reeves
