B.O. WRITES... HOW-TO: Window Replacement In 5 Or 6 Steps! (What To Do If Crack-heads Break Your Window)

Since Crack-heads stole Joe's camera bag that had his batteries in it, photography is taken via cell phone, compliments of Chastaine Tallon- Thanks Chass!

HEY GUYS, B.O. HERE!

Well, I knew it was bound to happen. That's the only thing I hate about cars- shit happens to them. Driving, is really like gambling at a casino- sometimes you run good, and sometimes you run bad.

So this particular night, I was still banged up from my Olympic hurdle-of-doom that, though attempted, I still failed miserably at. So here I was, barely able to move cause of a busted wrist and a strained knee; not to mention that I was a vegetable- half because Ryan got me some crazy pain pill from a stripper at the club he works at (some pill for the terminally ill)- that thing tent locked me! I was drifting in and out of consciousness all day. So while I lay, drooling on myself in the tent, Joe and Chassy wanted to take the car to downtown Portland to see a show with a friend we met, who apparently, knew some excellent local talent. I didn't care, so they took off for the show.

Come late night, Joe rolls in saying, "Ohh, good, your up. I might as well tell you now..." Joe continued on saying, "...somebody smashed the window and stole the camera bag."

So at this point, I really didn't care. 20 mg of an opiate, and you don't care about too much in life. Plus, I had been waiting for this to happen. Some old karma do's to pay perhaps, or maybe, just that we were giving it a chance to happen, by even driving in the first place. These are the risks you take for a such a valuable commodity.

I could have been a lot worse off though. I ended up finding a window at "budz recycle," for 35 bucks. The sucker even tried getting an extra 10 out of me!

I went in trying to get it for 25, so I can't feel too bad seeing as we met in the middle, and defended our fairness for market value of the glass in question. We hemmmed and hawwed about the car business for a minute, and I was on my way back to zip this thing back together.

Joe and and Chassy were the ones losing sleep over their CD collection that skipped like hell, and I just wanted the window fixed so we didn't look like a car full of junkies looting around in a car from Wisconsin, looking for crystal or something. My insurance papers are from a previous car I had owned, so if I got the right wise-guy cop, he might try to hassle me; my presentation needs to be top-notch. You've got to be squared up legally this day and age, although I do wish I could have lived in the days when you could say it was your grandpas, and the cop would tell you to mosey on down the trail.

The window was pretty easy actually. Just pop the interior panel, then snap out the lock-latch and the window switch, and in no time, I was at the window mount.

First thing though, you have to vacuum up all the glass in the door shell, or it will sound like maracas whenever you go over speed bumps. NOT a good sound come re-sale. The chunks of glass in the window seal needs to be scraped out, or the window will never seal, and it will sound like a tornado in Nebraska everytime you role the window up. Once all the broken glass is removed, it is time to detach the broken glass mounts. Watch the fingers though folks, you could get a boo boo if your not careful! Save the two 10 mil nuts, as you will be re-using them unless you are a chump, and you bought a brand new piece of glass, and it came with instructions, and a new nut sack. Simply slide the window through the space it sits, and then align the brackets. Once lined up snugly, tighten the two nuts we talked about saving, until secure.

The real trick to the re-assembly, is connecting the lock-switch firmly enough to stay in place, while the switch functions from locked to unlocked without detachment. I struggled with this part the longest, as its all about proper alignment between the lock rod, and the lock switch.

Even I had to call in back up, as I needed Chassy to hold the switch in place while I mounted the lock switch. First try- done!!

I wish I would of done that right away, but of course, who likes asking for help? So after the switch is tightened in place, you can attach the window switch, to the panel switch allot easier considering the room you have to work with. Push it into the designated area, and the panel is ready to be attached to the door shell. The only thing to keep in mind here, is putting enough plastic clips in place, and spaced equally on the inside of the panel. Inadequate clip numbers, and/or placement, can result in the panel falling off in the girl you just picked up's hand, and you looking like a hack- especially when you were 15 minutes late picking her up, because you were fixing your damn car.

Take the time guys, its well worth it in the end. All that's left at this point, is 1 more screw on the outer panel, and its done. One reminder: test each step as you continue assembling, so you know each variable is functioning properly before you proceed.

"Awwww Good 'ol cars, Ya gotta love 'em!"

B.O. REPORTING LIVE! 1st Annual Medical Cannabis Cup: Too Medicated To Remember...

Whats up everybody?! I just wanted to share my experience at the MCC in San Fran, that took place this last June.

Good 'ol Ben Meyers of mil town, accompanied me to the event, and I have to tell you guys, it was unbelievable! Smoking hash off of hot stones, vape-bags 12 ft tall, and ALL were filled with tasty medicine to be consumed! Tinctures, cheesecakes, brownies (of course), joints with over a quarter lb in them! It was hit by over 500 people, at least! Hot tattooed women of the counterculture were running around looking absolutely amazing.

I did originally go there, intending to find a career in the field, but after sampling all those tasty goodies there, I felt, well... um... how do you put this? How about, a little too over medicated to sell myself to a marijuana dispensary- at least while being in that particular state of mind. I definitely had one of- if not the most- influential experience of my life. Although the outcome I imagined was not accomplished, I believe in my heart of hearts, that it was a successful endeavor fo-sho! It almost didn't turn out that way however, because there were a few different parts to the cup: an expo of crap where you could buy basically anything related to marijuana, seminars for activisim, the judgement of the best strain out of nearly 40 different local dispensaries, and then my favorite part, the outside section where all the sampling was going on. The only thing was you needed was your prop 215 wristband, and the only way to get one, was to have a med card, and a state I.D.; and between myself and Ben- we had none of those prerequisites for particapating in the sampling.

After walking around the expo for a couple hours, it was time for Ben and I to take our own medicine. First, we tried sneaking through the only door that was outside, complete with a rent a cop standing there. We were close to making it, but not close enough, and you all know how fast a line of pot-heads would move. So that failed, and we were forced to go back to the lobby like a couple of dogs who just got caught eating out of the trash by their master. We sat there bitching up a storm, we threatened to leave, and we even kicked imaginary dust with our feet, while pacing around with our fists jammed deep in our pockets, and wishing only for a med card to be in our possesion.

We decided that for all our efforts, we couldn't give up that easy. So I checked into the seminars that were going to be demonstrated throughout the day, and Ben decided to investigate the amazing benefits of using the vaporizer as a method of exposing the wonderful phsycoactive compounds found in MM (medical marijuana), as compared to smoking this great medicine. So we split up to do our own thing.

It was really funny because Ben was looking at an 80 dollar personal unit, and after i zoned off for a half hr, and I returned to the area where all the retail merchandizers were, I discovered Ben sitting behind the booth of a high end vaporizor company, filling out the warranty papers of one of these grand medical devices. My eyes went from a slit that could easily be covered by a piece of dental floss, to basically- and very literally- eyeballs on the floor! I was very exicted for him, as I'm a strong believer in the benefits to this method of smoking. I knew it would be a few minutes completing all the info on the forms, and I left to go watch the big screen with the catogories, and strain types, that were up for judgement this year. By the way, my favorite one was a sativa called "cheese." Actually, it might have been an indica- my memory of such detail lacks confidence.

Ben came and found me, and when I turned to see him, I could tell he had something really good up his sleeve. Since he bought a $400 piece of smoking equipment, the salesman hooked him up with the prop 215 bracelet, and said i could buy one off of him for 20 bucks. I immediately reached for my cake (money), to get that on my wrist as soon as possible. This is where everything gets a little fuzzy on my memory. I have flashbacks of all that hash, and those vape bags, and tinctures- and that quarter pound joint, was definitely one of my favorite memories.

So in the end, we did it, we penatrated the MCC! Goddamn did me and Ben laugh at the fact that we almost left, out of pure frustration, and we wouldn't have had even a tenth of the good time that we actually did. Most likely, our opinions would have been along the lines of, "it was just o.k."

By: B.O- CHARCTER PROFILE: Carla Garrison

I was lucky enough to meet this beautiful women at a little bar called the Solstice In a art district called NoDa. where she owns a great art gallery called the Green Rice Gallery, she's owned and operated it since i believe Oct. 08' She was born in Chicago IL. She moved to Charlotte to pursue her art career about 10 yrs ago and has lived there ever since She's got a great sense of humor and a lovely smile I'm very glad we became friends along my journey She made my stay in Charlotte quite pleasant

By B.O: Oysters and Their Mystical Powers (warning for people with weak stomachs!)

Thursday The 18th of November, as I waited very unpatiently for Josephs arrival, I decided I need to just relax and find my Zen place, and calm down. The sun was out and it was like 75 degrees, unlike the majority of the previous days of the weeks I had witnessed. My brother always talked up this island called Emerold Isle which was only a small clip out there, but he said it was his favorite beach to occupy when he had the chance. So I packed my pack with all the things I thought would be neccesary for the small journey. I had to charge up the Ipod battery and I was off to find a sense of peace for that day which was at the moment inexistent in my soul. I hate to say I wasnt peaceful I just wasn't content at this particular moment mostly likely do to the excitement to see lil joey poo.
So I head out with all my gear, the sun shining beautifully, I throw my pack in the van, hop in and crank crank fucking crank!! This fucking piece of shit! This thing is a straight up Relic no shit. So after about a half hr of cycling the key holding the gas pedal down 1/4 way, The bastard coughed like it had tubroculois, ran on 2 cyliders and was ready to go. One amazing point the battery I have in there is something supernatural the thing never dies even after trying to start it for what seems hours sometimes.
At last I'm driving down the fucking road! all i could say was fuck yeah and slam my fist into the fucking roof thinking I got you safari you cant stop me. So on my way I needed a few items, and i stopped into a Food Lion ( what the fuck is a Food lion) I know most of you are asking that right? Its like your Cub or County market a very prominent grocery store chain all over the state of NC and probably a few more states. A fucking Food Lion GRRooowwwlll purr scratch I mean I assume thats what a food lion would do. So very timidly i get out of the van saying a few words of wisdom to it about what i would do to it if it wasnt runny when i got out of the store. No way in hell i was going to shut that POS off while i ran inside. quick thing of H20 and a disposable camera and I was off to the races.

So as I appourch the island I see this massive structure, Its the Bridge that connects the main land to the island. This thing is like a damn roller coaster. Its about 60-80 ft tall and streched about a mile maybe even a little longer over this inlet of water! As I crossed over it, hanging my head out the window like a tourist with my 6 dollar disposable trying to snap pics of these massive sailboats, I had a surge of emotion and mixed feelings. At first I was totally amazed, but as I neared the top a sense of complete and utter vulnaribilty of being so high and in the middle of this inlet I was overwelmed with the thought that I had no control of the elements that surrounded me the visual flash of being swept away kept rushing into my brain. This feeling never left my mind as I was on the island. It calmed down as soon as I drove off the bridge but the thoughts polluted my feelings the whole time I was there. To give you a idea of the islands landscape very long and narrow with the view of the ocean on both sides as you drive awww maybe im a big titbaby but i just felt like i was going to be swept away and swallowed by the water. I was there and I couldnt go back I had to find what was unknown at that moment at this place on this land. no way was I going to leave with curiousity and question. I was dying to get out and walk on the beach but I had to drive til I couldnt, Im glad I did because once I got to Atlantic Beach which is the farthest piont away from were I started, I felt a great understanding, and a strong respect for the island and the people there that call this their home.
I turned around and followed my brothers expriectice and went to his favorite beach INDIAN BEACH. I find a vacant public access to park and I reluctenly shut the van off and grabbed my pack, and then I was off in search of the feeling of serenity and relaxation I longed for. I threw in the ear phones and started playing O.A.R., a band that is comforting to me and has a great back sound for any occasion. TO my astonishment It didnt take long for my senses of sight sound and smell to combine together to give me the inner peace I was looking for on this island. As the birds chased the waves that rolled in and out in search of food and as the sun kept reflecting off the water with never the same flicker with each new wave that rolled in. That overwelming euphoric felling flooded my soul and as the goosebumps raised on my arms I knew I had found what I was looking for on that day. That feeling that is so individualistic to each person- that feeling that no drug Ive ever taken could imitate- The feeling of contentment I search for and yearn for, that comes and goes with each moment of my life. That dragon I have been chasing my whole life and trying to contain it, and implement it on a continuious basis.
As I walked I pondered the idea, wondering, is there really just one thing I will find that gives peace and contentment and happiness? I started to relize the multi layers of happiness, and for me it probably wont be just one thing I will be searching for forever.

At this point I felt like leaving and finding a local seafood shop for oysters, at another one of my brothers recomendations, I head back to Jacksonville and find the shop i was looking for. I go in and buy a bucket of oysters or so, and a lil bit of shrimp, It was justa bout the right time when my brother gets home, and surely I would need help in preparing these tasty little treats. I get back with this box of tasty nuggets covered in ocean sediment like a kid with a new bike! I hastily open the box and start to rinse them off, one by one in preparation for opening our little treasures of goodness. As we begin rinsing and stacking and cracking them, perspriration is gathering and saturating my clothes. Oysters are a lot of work, more work then I thought they would be- which during the preparation its kinda discouraging because you just want to eat them, but it was so worth the wait. After they were all cracked and our tipelo( mexican tabasco), and our lemon wedges in place- we start to devour them one by one, as we scrap and slurp down these buggery treats with excitment. we oohed and aahed about how fresh and wonderful they are.
In about the time it took to rinse them (not crack them) they were gone, and all that remained was a heep of shells. my brother and I just laughed about it and carried on with are night, but as it got later and my face started to feel warm I realized these things are like crack! I was so hopped up! It was virtually impossible to sleep.
Now I might have thought it was just me, but as I I started to vacum the living room and wash the dishes at 11 at night, I watched my brother chat on facebook to like 5 people, while texting someone franticly. We both just looked up at each other and said, what the hell- we can't sleep as much as he needed to, being that he gets up at as early as 4:30, and we knew that just wasnt going to happen. So instead of lying down and staring at the damn ceiling all night, we decided to go to the strip club and play some pool.
To my surprise I got a phone call from Josephine telling me he was flying to charlotte, and he will be arriving at noon tomorow or today how ever you want to look at it. I was delighted. At this point I felt like I had options for how I was going to execute the pick up of my fellow traveing comrade.
A: I go home and lye in bed, hoping the oysters will wear off so I can sleep for a few hrs til 6am and then take off to charlotte- since it is a 5 and a half hr drive. or,
B: Use this amazing oyster buzz that I have, to get me there by 6am and just sleep in a parking lot or find a nice rest stop to sleep.
So I decide to go with plan B. We leave the strip club and make our way back to the house so I could put together a pack for my short journey to chartown. I throw some shit together as my brother makes me a half gallon of coffee for back up awarness (just in case the oysters wore off).
I take off like a flash with the coffee to my right, the pack in the back, and a freshly lit camel in my lips! I make it about 100 miles before the oysters euphoria is starting to diminish- so I start downing coffee like a meth head in rehab. I slam the first 1 liter dasani water bottle of coffee in a almost contunious motion, all the while thinking- 'should I of just waited til morning?' That wasnt enough coffee, so I grab the 2nd bottle and down that as well. I make it like another 100 miles, and at this point I have just filled both of the dasaani bottles back up with piss, when all of a sudden the oysters shrimp and coffee start to have a massive chemical reaction in my stomach cavity.
Now I can't tell you if I was dilurious, caffeine crazy, or just wanted to get to charlotte that bad- but with this atomic bomb brewing, I flipped the dome light on in search for something I might be able to use as a diaper, or a bedpan so I could keep driving. To my dismay at the moment, there was nothing of resources I could find to use as an apparatice to catch this vile sludge that would be departing my colon at any moment maybe without notice. As I kept driving- stratgically farting to cope and relieve the tremendish side pains of this dyer situation, I saw that to my good fortune, 2 miles away, a rest stop!
At this moment the sign looked like 20 miles away with the wrenching of side pains, and no more farts to be let out when all my bodies cavitys are full with fluids that are screaming at me to be released. I put the gas pedal down to the floor at the attempt to save my underwear and propably my drivers seat cloth, 1&1/2 mile sign 1 mile sign 3/4 miles It seemed like the D.O.T. was playing a cruel joke on me to keep reminding me of the distance I was from the rest stop. Finally, as I fly into the parking lot I thought to my self, acutually talking out loud to myself at this point, I had to vurabally motivate and continue to tell my self I was going to make it.
I find a spot- luckily up front- because I knew that every step counted with dyer consquences. I hopped out the van, and waddled as fast as I was willing to risk- undoing my belt at the entrance, pulling my pants down at the mens room door, and had them around my ankles at the stall door. Before my ass cheeks hit the seat, a stream of split pea colored, sand textured stool streamed into the water splashing my ass like i had dropped a 4lb weight right into the toilet bowl, but I didnt care, I made it without even a 1/2 second to spare. As I sat there having a bowel moving orgasm, all I could do was smile and a knock knock with my closed fist on the plastic tiolet paper dispenser as thank you for this so near shiting your pants experiance that I escaped.
I felt tremendeshly lucky, and it was about 430 am friday morning. I was still 90 miles from chartown, why risk it? with a dilurious mind, and hullucanating visuals- I thought I better just get some sleep. I spent the next 5 hours sleeping at this rest stop oasis, and I had a great sense of gratitude for making it safe without any inconviences like shitting or pissing my my pants on the freeway. I rested up and started driving again so I make it to chartown at like 10:30, and then I found a lowes parking lot to kill some time in, and I crawled into the back of the van once more for a small catnap. Just like clockwork, joe arrives at the airport at just the same time as I pull in to the parking ramp. Mission accomplished: operation pickup joseph is complete. Now, off to see the city.

By B.O: Bryan's job search In jacksonville NC (Craigslist is GOD!)

PLEAse everyone give craigslist a round of applause with out them this journey would not be possible(APPLAUSE MOMENT) thank you. Now that Joseph is on his way down or is at least 6 hours from the start of coming I thought it is high tide to start making a even bigger bank roll for the journey So I set my sights on all the little body shops and used lots in this little town of Jacksonville NC. well to my surprise it was a little discouraging The car biz is at a hault right now in this fair city. none the less I was persistent in finding a place to build my income now mind you I had a high amount of confidence, and the reason being last Friday The very first place I stopped into (Williams auto a body shop) I landed a gig wet sanding and buffing a few cars for the following wk. So with this great discoverment I thought To my self money is no object in the meaning I will have plenty to do. Well I defiantly counted my chickens before they hatched. so with the mind set that this will be easy I set out onto the city of Jacksonville were I've never came across more dealerships more body shops in my life, per square ft. and wouldn't you know it 0 for 12 people no work in the car biz what so ever. So I go home with my head hung low and my tail between my prevariabale legs and sat at the dining room table and thought shit lets hump craigslist.

So for the next couple hrs I fumbled around with nothing jumping out at me and discouragement rising in my soul Then like a an oasis in the desert it appeared THE NUT NOOK TEMP WORK. Temporary work my god The fucking jackpot at first there was no number for contact but there was a website. I hastily typed it in and looked for dates of employment needed I didn't see anything about temp employment. But low and behold on the very last fucking page I came across a number and it was the owner of the biz Ginny. I stumbled out of my chair with excitement nearly ripping my phone charger out of the wall, miss dialing her number with my excitment trembling hands like every seconded counted at this moment, after a few dialing errors i got the number right and to my surprise I got a real live person a woman's voice to my enlightenment I hammed it up with Ginny for like ten minutes and secured a position selling Cinnamon roasted nuts on black Friday at 9am and the following wk end now the pay isn't what I'm accustomed to but I'm very grateful for the opportunity. plus the position does come with benefits. (Working at the mall on black Friday (ladies shopping)so at least I will b working all the while people watching making money witch I can appreciate). Thank you Craigslist you make my life very convenient and pleasurable. SO with a good solid day of searching I found employment persistence and not giving up goes a long way. Plus not to mention This job will bring about some great tales that I might be able to tell my grand kids about. TO BE CONTINUED...

By B.O: STATUS UPDATE: B.O's status as of 11/17/09

Hello it's B.O. This is my first and o' so official entry of what is the start of our great american journey. As you all know, or are finding out now this trip has had it's ups and downs, and quite a bit of just standing around. Good news though, the momentum is back in our blood. The regrets and apologies are in the past, and the evolution of the trip is forming nicely. Right now I'm in Jacksonville NC and have been here since the 7Th of this month, I have to admit I have been having some great times with my brother, but not so great times in my head. I have a number of reasons/excuses/effects- whatever you prefer to call them.
First and foremost, my brother who I'm staying with is an active Sergeant in the Marine Corps. So at his request, he needs a NO RISK environment, and I made the commitment to not self "medicate" while I'm with him. So, in the last 9-10 days my TETRAHYDROCANNABIAL consumption went from 'take as needed' to scraping resin, and taking a few drags every night (I'm completely out now after a wk of scraping). Now there is two points I would like to clear or justify, once again you make the call of what you think it is. 1st of all, to all you people who are against medical marjiauna or think it's highly addictive or puts holes in your brain, or whatever propaganda you believe- let me tell you first hand that I have been smoking for 9 yrs on a daily basis. The only days I've gone without, is the few times I was flying out of state in those 9 yrs. Yes I have minimum emotional, and a very very limited physical withdrawal after 9 yrs. I'm not suicidal, I'm not so desperate that I feel the need to ask strangers for it, and NOT once have I cried myself to sleep etc. etc. It is nothing like quiting caffeine, or cigs, and definitely nothing like the withdrawal from OC. Which unfortunately I know all to well about. 2ND point many of you might be thinking well if you have paraphernalia with resin you might as well have marijuana. Which is true but I don't have any medicine,and the pipe and grinder are very sentimental to me I just couldn't give them up yet and probably never will be able to. So think what you want I really don't give a fuck I think not smoking goes to show a high level of respect for my brother.

Now I like to call this the excuse for my anxiety, So I leave MN to escape the up coming cold weather and wouldn't you know It rains for like 5 fucking days in a row. So close your eyes and imagine are they closed? OK good no medicine, my van was not running (that's a whole other story) so I'm stuck in this fucking house with none of the above. I think a damn robot would be anxious and emotional in that scenario. So that leads to the reason I was emotionally fucked, so all I could do at that was sit and miss MN where the medicine is plentiful, the cola's flow like wine or something like that. At least in my mind they did when I was rideless' medicineless' and emotionally prisoned for the last wk. Well there is a good side to all this believe it or not. My prediction is coming true, after the shit weather stopped on Sunday I thought it would be in good taste to get out and walk my ass off in preparation for Joseph's arrival. I'm so glad I did. I walked 11.1 miles with a 40-50 lb pack on my back to this very nice inter-coastal water, I made it about 2 miles from destination, when my brother was off work, and on his way to get me, nontheless we clocked 11.1 miles. Where is the good part you ask? Well it broke me out of my anxious emotionally bound shell.

As I walked these roads to the water an overwhelming sense of power, untouchability, freedom, and a reality of living in this moment came over me. I have never felt this emotion before, lets just call it an awareness about my life, my destiny, a grateful feeling of how my life has been up to this moment in time. I felt so clear minded and free. It truly was the threshold of my great american journey, while I walked with my ass cheeks getting incredibly raw, with each step my feet beginning to feel like fire and starting to become unrecognizable to me. Even with the sun burning my face with every minute of exposure, the smile on my face grew. The hair's on my neck and arms straightened, and the powerful feeling of this moment surpassed the physical pain in my body. The anxiety is gone and now I can put full effort into gathering the essential equipment for the journey. NO PLANS NO DETAILS NO DISAPPOINTMENT'S. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN...